Today
by Clio de Carabas
Summary: In which a girl contemplates her love for a boy.


**Today**

"InuYasha?"

"Yah."

"What day is it?"

"Huh? I don't know...it's just today."

"Hmmm..."

Kagome pulled the brush down through the length of silver in her hand and smiled. She was glad it was only today. Today meant she was right where she was supposed to be; sitting under a tree on a sunny day and brushing the hair of the boy she loved. Hers was a sweet love, innocent and honest, built on trust and loyalty. This love she kept locked in her heart, only to be taken out when she was alone where no one could see. It was a small thing, and obscure, but she cherished it like nothing else and held it close, refusing to let it die. She figured it was merely wishful thinking that kept her hoping that maybe...someday... the boy would say what she wanted to hear. InuYasha would hold her hand and look her in the eye and say...

I love you, Kagome.

"Foolish girl," she chided herself. It really was stupid of her to think such things. She knew what the score was:

Kikyo..............InuYasha's soul

Kagome................................0

Kagome came upon a knot in the boy's pretty hair and, being careful not to pull too hard, she worked it out. She wished sometimes that she could see through the thick strands, straight into his mind and know exactly what he was thinking and how he felt, though it was probably for the best that she couldn't. She had a hard enough time knowing her own mind so she couldn't even begin to guess what he kept shut away. There was so little she knew about his past beyond that his mother had loved him, his brother hated him, and his father had wanted to protect him. And there had been the miko, Kikyo. They had both been alone- the priestess with her terrible jewel and the hanyou who had desired it. Theirs should've been a story with a happy ending, but most knew it to go like this:

_The boy killed the girl and the girl killed the boy_.

Kagome wondered if all stories so casually mocked the truth.

Every now and then, Kagome liked to think of InuYasha and Kikyo in those first, happy days. She would imagine herself as the beautiful priestess. After all, she had been her, in a way. The soul was the same, so didn't that mean that she had been there? She had been the one to call to the boy, to bring him out into the open, to offer him more than the jewel ever could. Kagome always wondered if Kikyo had kissed him, her mouth soft and wet, warm hands on his face. She remembered the night she had been forced to watch Kikyo kiss InuYasha with cold, dead lips. She hoped, despite the biting jealousy, that that had not been his first kiss. He deserved better than that.

Kagome set the brush on the ground beside her and ran her hands up under InuYasha's hair and over his scalp. He leaned his head back into her, eyes closed. She suddenly got the oddest urge to ask him about that time. Maybe, if she knew more about what happened, dormant memories would re-awaken and she would remember. It wasn't fair that the shell that was Kikyo should have the memories, yet the very soul was blind. She could hear the questions in her head; D_id you kiss her? Did you touch her? Did you see her skin, like white gold, in the moonlight? Did you lay her down..._

Kagome's cheeks burned and turned as pink as her toenail polish. She was ashamed of where her mind had taken her. It's not that she had never thought of..._that_...before After all, she was a young woman of the modern era and was well aware with what went on between men and women when they were in love. She didn't consider herself a prude and figured that in the future, when the time was right, she..._would_...with the man she loved.

_I love InuYasha_. A hopeful voice whispered in her head. Her heart started beating a million miles a minute and she took her hands out from under his hair.

"Kagome?" InuYasha asked, turning his head to the side. He could hear her heart racing. "Are you o.k.?"

Kagome took a deep breath and tried to rub away the anxious pain in her hands. "I'm fine. Must be left over stress from this last week. No worries."

"Uhh...o.k...Kagome?"

"Yes, InuYasha." She loved the sound of his voice.

"I really liked what you were doing, with your fingers, on my head."

"Good." She replied and slid her fingers back through his hair.

Kagome continued to breath deeply in order to get her pulse under control. She was still ashamed that she had let her mind wander where she couldn't let it go. Yes, she loved him and she had no problem admitting that to herself, but she knew that some things could never be. Kikyo had InuYasha's heart and soul and InuYasha had his honor and Kagome...all she had was his trust and his friendship. So she stood by his side and helped him when she could and he protected her from danger and that was it.

The girl's mind, whether due to fatigue or some deep-seated malice it held for its keeper, decided it was the right time to bring into focus a recent memory Kagome had hoped would stay locked up forever. Gingerly, she lifted the heavy weight of InuYasha's hair and looked closely at the side of the boy's neck. She ran her fingers over his skin, noticing that there was no trace of that nasty wound. It had happened just a week ago, at a place called Togenkyo. It had been a new moon and a horrible man had tried to kill them.

"Your wound is gone."

"Which one?"

"The one on your neck, that you got at Toge..."

"Oh...that one. It was gone the next day."

"It came so close..."

"I thought you weren't going to talk about that anymore." InuYasha cut her off, his body tightening. Kagome could hear frustration in his voice.

"Mmmm Hmmm. I'm sorry."

"There's really no point in bring up something that's in the past."

Kagome would've laughed but for the irony kicking her in the chest.

"You're right."

As much as she tried to forget that night up in the mountains, Kagome knew it was impossible. She would never forget seeing a human InuYasha lying in puddles of his own blood, nor the feeling of her naked body pressed to his long, solid length as she tried to will her strength into him. 24 hours later, standing in the bathroom of her home, steam curtaining the mirror, she had found dried blood on her upper thigh, her arms, smeared across her left breast. She had come so close to losing him that night. As the faintly red water swirled drown the drain, she had fallen apart.

Kagome figured she really must be one of the biggest fools who ever walked the earth. The silly romantic ideals of a girl just barely skirting the borders of adulthood could not change what was most likely to come. It was more than likely that she would be granted the rare distinction, not of becoming InuYasha's lover, but of watching him die. And even then, she wouldn't be the first. Fifty years before, Kikyo had witnessed the boy's eyes closing, the arrow in his breast taking him out of this world, before succumbing to her own fatal wound. Kagome had the feeling that a second time wouldn't be as neat and tidy and there would be no re-awakening. No, it would be violent and messy. Maybe she would die as well and not have to see it. She felt the onset of tears and swallowed hard. He hated it when she cried.

A leaf fell off a branch above their heads and landed near InuYasha's right ear. It caused the ear to twitch and Kagome was pulled out of hell and smiled a small smile. Reaching up, she brushed the leaf away and began to rub his ear between her thumb and finger. She felt the tension bleed out of her as she slowly caressed the velvety skin. Whatever might come, whatever the future held...

Kagome's fingers, dancing on a cloud, tickled the base of InuYasha's ear and she heard him moan, low. And she felt it, moving, deep down inside her to places never before touched. The air seemed to vibrate around her and she couldn't feel the ground beneath her. She pulled her hand away.

"Kagome?"

The girl laid her hands on the boy's back as she taught herself to breath again. Whatever the future held...didn't matter. Because it was today and she was alive and he was alive and she could feel his life under her hands: the rise and fall of his breath and the beat of his heart. An impulse ran through her, a wanting to turn him around and kiss him. What would happen? What would he do? Would it be so wrong? Would he push her away? Would he tell her she's not Kikyo? Or...

"Kagome?"

...would he pull her to him and kiss her back? Would he look into her eyes and see _her_? Would he then push his tongue into her mouth? Would he slide his hands down her back and gently squeeze her? Would his claws dig into her skin? Would she feel him against her, hard and seeking? Would her body respond, willing and accepting? Would it hurt? And when all was said and done, would they be sorry?

"Kagome?"

She heard his voice off in the distance. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she buried her tingling face in silver and crimson and breathed him into her. She doubled down to the bottom of her soul to see what was there, searching for memories locked away for centuries, but there were none. This desire was all hers and not Kikyo's. She figured that this must be part of what being a woman felt like and she liked it. She smiled, as tentative hands found her own. If only she could melt into his body and sleep awhile, she would be happy.

"Kagome?" InuYasha said. He was concerned about the girl. She had been through so much lately, what with those stupid _exams_ she insisted on putting herself through hell for. He didn't even pretend to understand why she needed to do them. She would be much happier if she just stayed in this era with him. He felt her lift her head from his back and instantly missed the contact.

"InuYasha", she said, her voice sounding sleepy.

"Yah?"

"What are we doing tomorrow?"

"I suppose we go look for shards."

Kagome sat up, pulling her arms away from him, and proceeded to pull long silver stands from her hairbrush.

"Good...it's been awhile." She stopped what she was doing when she noticed he had turned around. Looking up into his aureate eyes, her heart skipped a beat. He was so beautiful to her.

"Are you sure?" InuYasha asked. Kagome looked a little flushed and he pressed his palm to her forehead. "Are you feeling o.k?"

"I'm perfectly fine, InuYasha, just a little hungry."

He nodded his head, satisfied, and stood up, calling out to the others who had been playing in the lake that it was time to go.

Kagome heard Shippo's protests and Miroku's patient, "come on, Shippo, it's time." She smiled at Sango as her friend helped her fold up the blanket. And she watched InuYasha slide Tetsusaiga through the ties of his hakama. He turned to her as she stood, her backpack over one shoulder and her shoes in her hand.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready."

They walked back to the village, Shippo falling asleep on InuYasha's shoulder and Kagome's arm occasionally brushing his. She looked up at the darkening sky. Today was quickly becoming tonight and Kagome was happy to know that she was exactly where she was supposed to be.


End file.
